Snow Rollers Invade Ohio

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snow-rollers4WTF??  What ARE these things?!  We Ohioans are used to suffering through some pretty  fucked-up weather, but Monday morning we woke up to find these crazy things rolling around our back yards! They’re all over central Ohio, which just got hit with eight inches of snow on top of ice over the weekend. But instead of a pristine white blanket of snow carpeting our lawns, we have thousands of these strange white roll-ups lying everywhere. Its like Mother Nature has given up waiting for overweight kids to get off their asses and come outside to roll snow-men, so while the kids stay indoors playing video-games and ‘liking’ Justin Bieber memes on Facebook, She’s rolling her own snowballs without them!

snow-roller-665x385 Its not like we Buckeyes can’t take unexpected weather changes in stride. My uncle, like many typical stalwart Ohioans can often be found grilling hamburgers in his back yard when its 26 degrees (Fahrenheit) standing knee-deep in snow! When you live in Ohio, you just get used to things like the temperature going from 70 degrees to 30 degrees in a matter of hours, tornadoes unexpectedly ripping through trailer parks at dusk, or “polar-vortexes” swooping down from the Arctic Circle and turning our homeless people into popsicles. We’re used to it! But even the news-crews had to come out of their nice, warm studios to take pictures of these strange things currently littering the central Ohio landscape.

snow_roller_21_2They’re called ‘snow-rollers’, or so we’re told. Its the second new meteorological term we’ve had to learn in the past month, the first being polar-vortexes. Polar vortices is probably the term I’d use, but I’ll defer to our learned TV weather-casters. Apparently, an unusual confluence of conditions has to occur in order to make these snow-tubes magically appear. First there needs to be a slippery base of ice over which wet snow accumulates. Then there needs to be a brisk wind to pick up layers of sticky snow which then are rolled along over the ice into tubes; not so much wind that they break apart, just enough to keep them rolling along like Arctic tumbleweeds. So lucky us!  We’ve been treated to an invasion of snow-rollers!  What’s next, Ohio??  Oh look!  Here come the GLACIERS!

(c) January 29, 2014 – Bethany Ariel Frasier

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One thought on “Snow Rollers Invade Ohio

  1. This really looks wonderful!
    Oh yes *sigh* I agree. When we were kids we played outside and had fun even in winter.
    It looks to me mankind goes gaga. There are 10% who write and have ideas and the rest just copies and consumes.

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